The Random Series
by SoulHorse
Summary: This is a totally random series put together by my friends and I, and AprilSpirit. If I didn't put a disclaimer or if it isn't right, I don't own anything in this, except for OCs. Thank you! *Cussing included. Ish. Romance/Humor-ish/Drama. Series continued with AprilSpirit.
1. Book 1: It All Started With This

**Hello Fanfiction! This was just a completely random story my friends and I made up. So this story has the characters, Docter Who 10 and Greek gods. So, this is a crossover between Greek Mythology and Doctor Who. That was all my friend. Seriously. **

**Ok, Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my OCs and plot. BTW, everything is it, except for a few characters.**

Once there was a bag of Doritos that died, but came back to life as Poo on the ground.

Then, a bag of Fritos came out and told Poo, "You will die!"

But the knife Fritos was holding, dropped onto him and Fritos died. Suddenly, a bag of Cheese-Its comes to life and Poo and Cheese-Its and Poo get married. But as Poo and Cheese-Its got married, they were caught red-handed by Cheese-Its real wife/husband, Goldfish. But then, the 10th Doctor appears and eats Cheese-Its and Goldfish! He also stepped on Poo, ending all of the foods' and poo's lives.

Then, a random murderer in black appears, stabs the Doctor in the heart, and eats the rest of the Cheese-Its. Then, some random 12-year old Doctor Who fangirl named Nicole Peterson dies when an army of gummy bears attack and kill her. But then, the 10th Doctor regenerates and revives Nicole. They then fall in love and get married, making Nicole Peterson turn into Nicole Who. But then, Kronos randomly appears for the sake of the story and chops the 10th Doctor into 1,000,000,000,000 pieces and killed Nicole. The Doctor regenerates again and revives Nicole again. After reviving himself and and his wife, he goes and banishes Kronos to Tartarus.

Then a wizard appears and sends the Doctor into a dark world where no one else is allowed to go in, so Nicole couldn't follow. Then, Nicole dies again when an army of fruit snacks attacks. But the Doctor somehow comes back to the world of reality and revives his wife for the 3rd time.

One week later, Nicole catches her husband cheating other with another fangirl named Meredith Hayden. Nicole then slaps her husband, divorces him, and stole his TARDIS with his hot, awesome clone inside. The Doctor clone(**Calling the clone D.C) **then decides that Nicole was hot and decided to make her his girlfriend. Then, one of Nicole's friends, Paisley, walks into the TARDIS and interrupts D.C and Nicole's moment/kissing. Paisley offers Nicole pizza, and she declines. Paisley then leaves.

One day, while Nicole was taking a walk at night, a flock of owls attack her and pecks her to death. Meanwhile the real 10th Doctor got cancer.

The next night, Nicole had gotten un over by a car and her boyfriend, D.C, ran to her aid at the hospital. The real Doctor Who(**R.D.W) **heard about his ex-wife's accident and hurried to the hospital to see how she was doing because he had broken up with Meredith and wanted his wife back. But when he arrived, he found D.C with her and they were making out.

R.D.W got angry at his clone and yelled, "She's my wife! Stop kissing her you idiot!"

R.D.W and D.C started throwing punches and kicks. Nicole tried to stop them, but it was no use. They were fighting like there was no tomorrow.

_10 minutes later…_

Both Doctors lay on the ground, both with black eyes, bruises everywhere, and bleeding. They were put in beds on either side of their love, Nicole.

_5 days later…_

Nicole was all healed and ready to go, but D.C and R.D.W were still lying unconscious. Nicole had gotten crutches and went home. That evening, she had gotten news of a mass murderer named Paige Kimberly, had come to the hospital and killed everyone in it. Nicole ran to the hospital to see Paige in cuffs and held by the police. She was no more than 12 years old. Paige Kimberly wore pink-rimmed glasses, had dark brown eyes and short black hair almost touching her shoulders. She wore a black and purple headband with purple flowers. Paige watched as the ambulances drove off to the morgue or something. Nicole ran into the hospital and into D.C's and R.D.W's room. She was relieved to see them unharmed and sitting there.

D.C gasped and screamed, "Nicole! My love!"

He ran to his bewildered girlfriend**(Yes, this is so confusing, but yeah, they are dating.) **and kissed her. Nicole embraced him and kissed back. Just then R.D.W pushed the couple away and kissed Nicole.

"Nicole! My wife, my love, I'm sorry for that fangirl incident. Will you forgive me?"

Nicole looked between the two and was about to say something, when she vomited on the floor, holding her stomach. The Doctors gasped and carried her towards a pretty blonde haired nurse. Her name tag read, **Aphrodite**. R.D.W winked flirtatiously at the nurse and she smirked and batted her eyelashes seductively at him.

D.C rolled his eyes and yelled, "Hey! My girlfriend is in need of help! Can you help her Aphrodite?!"

Aphrodite glanced at Nicole and gasped. "We need to get her to a room," she yelped.

They got her inside a room, where Dr. Apollo got her x-ray. When he came back, he looked shocked.

Apollo said, "So, I got her x-ray."

D.C demanded, "What happened?!"

Apollo smiled as he said, "I'd kindly tell you if your friend here gets his hands off my girlfriend."

The two Doctors turned to R.D.W and Aphrodite, who were flirting. R.D.W's hands were wrapped around the nurse's waist and she had left a pink lipstick mark on his mouth.

"You f****** bastard", a voice said behind them.

The three Doctors and the nurse whipped around to see Nicole sitting up in her bed. She glared at Aphrodite and R.D.W.

She snarled, "You said you loved me. You begged for my forgiveness. You said you wanted me to give you a second chance. I almost did. Almost. I'm glad I didn't. You were undressing her with your eyes. Go have s** somewhere else. Oh yeah, and BTW? F*** you."

And to the trembling Aphrodite, Nicole sneered, "B****."

She pulled a random knife out of nowhere and threw it, almost hitting her divorcee's head.

"GET OUT", she screamed.

The couple ran out. Five seconds later, they heard moans and screams from some other room.

The girl turned to the two men and smiled pleasantly.

"So, what's the news?"

Apollo nervously glanced at his sheet. D.C sat next to her and grasped her hand tightly.

"So, um, Nicole, I looked at your x-rays and…you're pregnant."

"WHAAT!"

D.C complained, "We haven't even done "it" yet. Is it R.D.W's kid?"

Apollo sighed. "No it isn't. And it's not yours either."

"Then who's is it", Nicole persisted.

Apollo said, "Nicole, remember when you got attacked by owls? Well, when you got attacked, something weird must have happened and one of the owls had gotten you pregnant."

Just then, an owl flew in and started making out with Nicole.

D.C yelled, "We're over Nicole!"

He stomped out angrily.

His ex-girlfriend screamed, "No! I'm sorry D.C! I love you!"

The owl looked at her and said, "Wanna be my girlfriend?"

There was only one answer.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…..

….

….

"NO!"

Nicole choked the owl to death and D.C came back in. Just as R.D.W came back with a red slap mark, messy clothes, lipstick on his face, and mussed hair. Apollo looked at him.

"What happened to you?"

R.D.W shrugged. "Oh. That. That Aphrodite was hot, but she didn't satisfy my needs. She slapped me and ran off to make out with that motorcyclist, Ares."

He smiled brightly at his ex. "Hey Nicole, babe. You're up! Sorry for that misconception. Wanna remarry?"

Nicole punched him. "NO!"

R.D.W growled. "You belong to me."

He forcefully kissed her and then D.C pulled him off. They started fighting. The owl came back and ate M&amp;Ms. Just then, the zombie apocalypse started and everyone turned to zombies! Nicole grabbed D.C and they ran to the TARDIS and flew to NYC. Then a scientist randomly cured people and the world was back to normal.

The End!

JK!

Lemons rained from the heavens above. Candyland started and the world was cured of poorness and poverty. The TARDIS landed in Candyland. Walt Disney came back to life and made a better, all new Disneyland!

THE REAL ENDING!


	2. Author's Note

**I know you all hate these, but note, AprilSpirit or I may be writing the next story for this. Just a note. Thank you! Good bye!**

**-SoulHorse**

**Seriously, this is so short.**


	3. Book 4: SQUIRRELS

**Hey everyone! We only had one reviewer, which was Time Cassanova of Gallifrey, who loved it. So this chapter is dedicated to him/her. And also all my friends who helped make the previous chapters and this current one! This current one came out of an animal picture, demonic cats, and a very long group chat. So yeah. Here's Installation Four of The Random Series! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my OCs and the plot. Also, I MEAN NO DISRESPECT TO RETARDED PEOPLE, GAYS, and STUFF.**

3rd Person's POV

Once upon a time, there was a Chinese-Canadian man named Frank. He ate an old Cheeto, but before he could, the Cheeto fell into a hole and died. Frank found out from his ex-girlfriend Hazel's boyfriend who was a toaster that the Cheeto had come back as a zombie. Frank cried long and hard for his lost Cheeto, but then with his new-found determination, he stupidly went to go and try to turn back the Cheeto-zombie to a Cheeto again.

After 60 years, Frank found the hole in which his poor Cheeto fell in and he found the Cheeto zombie stuck in the hole.

"My beloved Cheeto!" Frank cried. "After all these years, I've found you! Finally! We can be together, my love!"

"He…eh?"

The Cheeto-zombie looked up at Frank, confused. Frank's eyes popped out of his sockets.

"You're…you're…you're beautiful! Marry me Cheeto-zombie!" Frank proclaimed.

Before the Cheeto-zombie could groan out anything else, the zombie body dissolved to the pencil from the other chapters. Frank squealed like a fanboy.

"EEEKKKKK! You're the famous pencil from the other chapters!" Frank shrieked.

The pencil sighed. "I am, but all I wanted to do was write sappy love stories."

Frank picked up the unwilling pencil and took him to an abandoned cabin nearby that conveniently had a bed. He then chained the pencil to a wooden board and started to rape him. The pencil then disappeared and turned into Paige from the other chapters. Paige then whipped out her vampire fangs and bit Frank in the throat and killed him.

"Die Frank." she hissed.

Paige then walked out and disappeared to continue her plans of world domination with her best friend Paisley. As Paige disappeared, Frank's spirit turned into a ghost and he went to go haunt anyone named Paige. He terrified poor girls everywhere.

Upon hearing Frank's return as a ghost, Paige hunted Frank down and killed Frank with her vampire ghost-killing venom. Frank then turned into a vicious demon and the two were stuck in what seemed to be a never-ending fight. That is, until Natalia Blackthorn, a summoner, summoned Marlin, the goddess of junk food to stop them.

THE END!

JK!

One year later, Paige got bored. She summoned armies of demons and made her old friends, Alexa, Paisley, and Nicole the Timelord become her generals to fight her old boyfriend Frank the demon.

As the war continued, an Oceanlord named Caspian Doodoo rose from the ocean to imprison them. But then, Natalia Blackthorn summoned her army of cats to kill Caspian. Caspian countered with his own army of even more powerful demon cats. Paisley, who decided to take Natalia's side, summoned her otherworldly powers and chained Caspian up with lightning chains. Caspian used his water powers to break the chains and then he turned into a giant, demonic fire tiger.

As Paisley and Natalia fought against the fire tiger, two gay guys **(No offense to gays) **named Evan Wethersfield and Jones Kooper stumbled into the battlefield and started making out. Paisley, irritated with the love on the battlefield, threw them into the fire tiger's open mouth while they made out and the tiger ate them.

Caspian the fire tiger choked on the boys and spat them out.

He said in a humanly girly, high-pitched voice, "Ugh. They-like-taste-like-dog-uh-hair."

Natalia ran over to them, checked their pulses, and yelled, "I THINK THEY'RE DEAD!"

Paisley checked her fingernails. "That's nice."

She snapped her fingers and created a random hole and dropped their dead bodies in.

"Can we continue the battle now? I'm getting kinda bored." Paisley yawned.

They all shrugged. "Okay."

While Natalia fought Caspian the fire tiger, Paisley snuck over to the hole and waved her hand over Jones and Evan and pulled misty looking things out of their bodies. She waved her hand again and the misty-spirits turned into a humanoid squirrel.

"THE POWER OF LOVE RULES ALL!" Paisley yelled.

She shoved the squirrel in front of tiger-Caspian and he turned back into a human, staring at the squirrel, who batted her eyelashes.

"I THINK I'M IN LOVE!" Caspian yelled.

He started making out with the squirrel and they fell on the battlefield to do…things. Keeping the story rated T.

"Let's leave." Natalia decided.

"Yep. I'm getting ice cream." Paisley said.

The two walked away, leaving Caspian rolling on the field with the squirrel-human.

_Five Months Later…_

"And…it looks like you're pregnant Miss Squirrel!" Doctor Apollo proclaimed cheerfully.

"WHAT?!" Miss Squirrel shrieked.

Paisley and Natalia, who were sitting in the room, gaped.

"I think Caspian somehow got a squirrel preggers." Paisley muttered.

Natalia, who was studying the squirrel, gasped. Everyone looked at her.

Natalia pointed at the Miss Squirrel. "You're Caspian's sister! YOUR BROTHER GOT YOU PREGGERS!"

Miss Squirrel started sobbing hysterically and then she looked at Doctor Apollo.

"I THINK I'M IN LOVE!" she yelled.

Miss Squirrel hopped on Apollo and kissed him.

"Let's leave." Paisley decided.

The two friends left the doctor and the squirrel to do their business. Noises were heard coming from the room afterwards…

_1 hour later…_

Paisley arrived at Caspian's house alone. Natalia had headed home for a pound of pizza, so she was left to tell the Oceanlord that he was a father to his sister's child. The teen girl knocked the door.

Someone yelled from inside, "I'M NOT HOME!"

The sorceress rolled her eyes. She blasted the door open and walked in…to find Caspian having a foursome with Jones, Evan, and another guy named Dave.

"Oh hi Caspian. I didn't know you were gay" she said casually, as if she saw that kind of thing everyday.

Caspian looked between the three guys and yelled, "I'M GETTING RAPED!"

"LIES!" the three boys yelled. "HE'S RAPING US!"

Jones whimpered afterwards, "I just wanted to be with my husband Evan. Is that too hard?"

Evan stared at his husband. "Nope. It's not Jones."

Evan tackled Jones to the floor and since they were getting raped earlier…well…things went on.

A demonic aura surrounded Paisley and she yelled, "I DON'T CARE WHO'S RAPING WHO! Anyways Caspian, I came to tell you that the squirrel you screwed is preggers with your kid and that the squirrel is also your sister. Bye~"

She casually strode out the door as Caspian screamed and sobbed hysterically.

"NOOOOOOOO! THAT SQUIRREL IS TOO HOT TO BE MY SISTER!" he shrieked.

Paisley called back, "Tough luck!"

_Back with Caspian…_

Caspian pinched himself and shut his eyes. _It's a dream right? It has to be, _he thought desperately. Caspian opened his eyes to see a white blankets and him shirtless in bed.

"Phew. It was just a dream." he said.

"What was a dream honey bunches?" a squeaky voice asked seductively. "By the way, you were awesome last night."

Caspian whipped around to see a humanoid naked female squirrel lying next to him.

"Wha-?"

She giggled. "I got you drunk and lured you here, where we had-"

"STOP! IT'S JUST A DREAM!"

He shut his eyes and opened them, to find himself in girl jeans. The TV was on and he was watching…a meerkat banging a lion? Caspian looked down at his lap to find a bag of Fritos.

"Huh, so I'm Paisley now?"

Suddenly, something exploded. Caspian leapt up from his seat to see that the real Paisley had blasted the door open.

"Hi Caspian. You cross-dress?" she asked.

Before he could answer, she barreled on.

"Oh, I came to tell you that your sister the squirrel you impregnated when you were 12 years old gave birth to a baby boy named Farquaad. She also banged your best friend Apollo and she's now pregnant with a girl. Also, I can tell the future and she's gonna rape you and have triplets. Bye~!"

Paisley walked away and Caspian shrieked, "WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?!"

Suddenly, his world whirled around him and he found himself tanning on a sun bed in a nice yard.

He cried, "IMMA MILLIONAIRE SUCKERS!"

"Sir, some people are here to see you" his butler said.

Natalia the summoner strolled in, dragging a crazed female llama with her.

"Hey Caspian. This is your retarded ex-girlfriend llama Miss Mentally Retarded Llama. You should apologize for cheating on her with a rock. Bye!"

Natalia left in a swirl of air.

"Geh" the llama said.

Caspian waved his hand and told his butler to get rid of the llama. He then got off the tanning bed and headed up to his room. He had told his hot human girlfriend, Karia that he would watch Finding Nemo with her and then they would…um…do things on the bed.

When Caspian arrived at his room however, he found Karia lying dead on the floor.

"NOOO! WHO DID THIS?!" he wailed.

"Hehehe~I did babe. So we can be together forever~!" a girly seductive voice cooed from his bed.

Cameron looked up to see a naked squirrel on his bed. She wiggled her squirrelly eyebrows suggestively at him.

"Now screw me like you mean it." she commanded.

The squirrel flopped herself, so her back was facing towards him.

"I'm ready." she called.

Caspian shut his eyes and pinched himself.

He woke up to find that it was a nightmare.

"Phew. I keep having these nightmares, right Karia?"

Caspian looked next to him to find Karia dead.

"NOOOOO!" he yelled.

"DIE SCUM!"

A gray-green alien leapt at him. It was Esbin Orange the alien, one of Paisley's rogue summons. He wore a beanie that featured the Rams. Esbin ripped out Caspian's organs and proceeded to tie them around the latter's throat, choking him. Caspian died.

THE END!

JK!

Caspian revived himself and turned into a tiger, killing Esbin. Somehow for the sake of the story, Esbin revived himself and Caspian took Esbin's beanie.

"GIMME MY BEANIE!" Esbin wailed. "I'LL GIVE YOU A PACK OF LAYS AND A HIGH FIVE!"

"No." Caspian deadpanned.

He proceeded to burn the beanie in front of a sobbing Esbin.

"I WAGE WAR ON YOU!" Esbin shouted. "FOR THE SAKE OF MY BEANIE!"

_A year later…_

"You're all gonna kill Caspian, right?" Esbin asked.

He stared at his bounty hunters pointedly. Esbin would only hire the best of the best, after all. He had found seven suitable bounty hunters: Dave Corribin, Evan Wethersfield, Jones Kooper, his cousin Risa, Alexa from the other chapters, Nicole the Timelord, and Nicole's boyfriend, the 10th Doctor Duplicate (also known as D.C.).

"HAHAHA!"

A maniacal laugh came from a hill that appeared for the sake of the story. It was Caspian.

"THERE HE IS! GET HIM!" Esbin ordered.

But no one charged, as they were all running away crying for their mommies after they saw Caspian. Esbin sighed. It seemed he would have to do all the work himself. Great.

Esbin yelled and charged, but slowed as he neared Caspian. As the sun rose in the background, Caspian was practically glowing. Esbin felt his heartbeat accelerate. Was he…gay? For Caspian? The guy who destroyed his beloved beanie? Yep.

Esbin reached Caspian and collapsed at his feet.

"Caspian," Esbin said breathlessly, staring up at him in awe. Esbin took his hand kissed it. "Esbin Orange at your service. I think I'm in love with you."

Caspian gawked at him. Without waiting for a response, Esbin tackled Caspian to the ground and began raping him…

Caspian shut his eyes and pinched himself. _This can't be happening, _he thought desperately. _Esbin can't be in love with me. _An image of the alien came to his head. With his pale gray skin and white-blonde hair and those eyes…Esbin was practically _hot. _Caspian felt the air get sucked out of him. But when he opened his eyes, he saw that he had been imagining things.

The sky was blazing red and animals mewed and screeched. And a scream. Caspian shot up and stared out to see his cat army devouring Esbin.

"CASPIAN!" the alien screeched.

Caspian could only watch as his love-at-first-sight was torn to pieces by his own army. He opened his mouth, but couldn't say anything. Esbin slowly died.

_A few months later…_

"Doctor Apollo, I've been sick for _weeks. _What's going on?"

Caspian dangled his feet over the counter he sat on in the doctor's room.

Apollo frowned. "Are you sexually active?"

The Oceanlord frowned. He _had _been raping people and getting raped…

"I-I guess." he muttered.

Apollo shrugged helplessly. "This makes no sense, but it looks like you're _pregnant._"

Caspian fell off the counter in shock. "WHAT?!"

The doctor deadpanned, "I don't know who you've been banging, but that person got you pregnant."

Caspian recalled the last battle between him and Esbin…did Esbin actually rape him?

He walked out the door in a daze.

"Hey! Wait!"

Apollo ran out of the office.

"I forgot to tell you!" he panted.

"What?" Caspian growled.

"The _thing _seems to be half alien and squirrel." the doctor said.

Caspian fainted.

He awoke five seconds later. And then he felt utter pain in his stomach. It _hurt. _Caspian screamed in agony. He ran to the restroom, shoving the wide-eyed doctor away and Caspian arrived at the toilet.

Caspian did his business and then got up and looked at it. The poop started to scream. It was _furry _with freaking gray fur and eyes like…his. The top of it was white-blonde.

"EHHHHH!" it screamed.

The thing hopped out of the toilet and screeched. The poop-thing suddenly turned into the freaky faced poop emoji. It tackled Caspian with surprising strength and to Caspian's surprise, it started to make love to him.

JK!

Caspian groaned as he pooped. He had a really bad stomachache. When he wiped and got up, he saw a weird looking poop that seemed to have gray and white blonde fur. He shrugged, thinking nothing of it. Caspian flushed the toilet and was about to go wash his hands when…

"KEHEHEHE!"

He whipped around to see the white porcelain toilet seat reach out to him and it ate him. Caspian screamed hysterically as he got 'eaten' and flushed down the drain. And thus ends Caspian's story. For now.

_Meanwhile…_

"BWAHAHAHA!" Paige cackled loudly.

She had just taken over the USA and now everyone was a vampire.

"I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!"

_With Paisley…_

Paisley sat in a cotton candy tree in Europe at her castle. She had just taken over Europe and made it a fairytale-candy land. Paisley sighed as she thought of the USA.

She mused aloud, "I wonder, was the toilet I enchanted to eat Caspian too weird?"

**YAY! Finished! Two days! YESS! Sorry I didn't include much of the old characters. Not. Although no one is reading this, please RRFF! And this goes out to all those who helped create this, also for AprilSpirit who helped found the entire series! SoulHorse, over and out.**


End file.
